closing the board

decades has been enough

my emotions joining these words

the doors must now close

locked and be in chains

and be written as the last

farewell my aesthetic darkness. 

why?

when times i am on the clouds

comes those ghosts of the past.

when i feel i am settled

comes those sudden change.

when i think i am doing right

comes those whispers of doubt.

when i see i am better now

comes the idea i am lesser than i know.

when i am on course for a life lasting love

comes those petty handfuls of hate.

"am i less better than being better?"

me

"Voice as deep as satan's soul 

Smile as sweet as mary's shawl 

Hands crumpled in a chaotic brawl 

Feet pacing then he falls 

Head down on hot concrete 

I'm staring at the blue half-moon 

Then I remember the woman so sweet 

Who'd left me all too soon 

Do you have to fall to think of me."

"will just talk when u ask,

will just react when u want me to."

is

the

same 

as 

"leave me alone"

 :-)

cast away

what is it to be like or how would it be?

to place yourself in an island.
to lock yourself in darkness
to leave the once sanity you have
to embrace darkness and solidarity
to be void and be lower than any animal
to dream death and be dead

where is the old mozart?

bursting blood within this heart
splattered against the wall
agony and despair echoes in silence
covered with the betrayal
humming along the corridors
of life and cold stillness
clown's laugh painting happiness
as an overture art to impress
and have life not be bothersome
stroking the brush and to form a masterpiece
using water as a paint under shady sun
adapting beliefs without a clear point
now the strokes are different
and doubting myself with good mistakes
and honest regrets.
and never again to trust a cross.

i will always love you

times in our lives came to an end.
accepted the reality and
don't have to argue as each's fiend.
you have been part of me, someone He sent.
there are reasons why, reasons we should use to mend
in our hearts and in our minds.
we should be happy of what we have,
you found yours, and i found mine.
but this would never stop the care and
guidance to our good daughters.
they need you as how you needed care
guidance as how we were brought up.
i don't mind if what's with you,
and i don't mind the gap between us.
just "please" don't loose your patience as a mother.
our kids need you more, more than anything.

the dark creation

mingling on the heights of heavens
one unique dark spot on the midst
of light and shinning angels.
not minding the troubles on the eyes
of the conservative guardians.

i, the dark creation,
damned and forsaken.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
to have circles to roam on,
speak without the fear of being damned.

though my soul is wrapped with sadness,
happy i am for passing and crossing your paths.
i may not be that good for the group standards,
but will redirect those who are seeking happiness.
and give spirit to those who are breathless.

i, the dark creation,
unworthy to be part of circulation.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
to look upon equally on everyone.
seek understanding on every minds.

faith would always be on doubt on your eyes
keeping calm with your unfavorable sights.
worry not, i'll just be a passer-by who soon leaves.
whatever the goodness taught, and affections
will always dwell on my soul, and is part of my standards.

i, the dark creation,
a flesh and weak with temptations.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
with no walls of  discrimination.
will always remember how to be a human.