i will always love you

times in our lives came to an end.
accepted the reality and
don't have to argue as each's fiend.
you have been part of me, someone He sent.
there are reasons why, reasons we should use to mend
in our hearts and in our minds.
we should be happy of what we have,
you found yours, and i found mine.
but this would never stop the care and
guidance to our good daughters.
they need you as how you needed care
guidance as how we were brought up.
i don't mind if what's with you,
and i don't mind the gap between us.
just "please" don't loose your patience as a mother.
our kids need you more, more than anything.

redirecting backwards

uhmmn
voice tapping my shoulders
time to look back, someone still waiting.
she's been there along the time with pains
a dumb question is, "is she there for me?"
that i will find out, "is she back for real?"
for the life i have pleaded before.
and have she learned much from those pains?
from casting herself away from those chances?
to much questions, it'll be left unanswered again.
hope it'll not be as it was in those dark ages.
uhmmn
how bout an another pleading?
for a change, for a stronger bond
in reconstructing and solving mazes
day dream again, can we? can i? can her?
in this rainy day, thoughts runs my mind.
tsk this darkness really makes me think a lot.
uhmmn
hoping for better things to happen.
hoping you've learned lot of things
hoping you're ready for a serious life.
hopes... hoping it'll not fade again.

~4/26/10

then @4/30/10:
just days passed, hopes again fails... fades.
those hopes for u to change.. tsk!
u never change.. not even a bit.
just those fake smiles and presence.
now im asking again myself, why the hell did i marry you?
all the while, we keep on blaming and blaming
who did it first, who provoked it
its unending loop of clashes
wish i could step backwards
and follow what i felt before.
late to do, but not too late to fix.
errrrrrr life is so stupid!!!!
so damned!!!