scribbling

to the thoughts and rush emotions.
haven't seen myself done thinking,
mood swings what i do what i feel.
pretty disturbing, my shield though.
unpredictable others seem to describe
pointless being i am, im ashamed.
its just a thought, expressing thoughts
over and over again, mostly in pains
with a handful of extreme happiness
love? smiling while tapping the keys
it gives me no riches though, nor fame
cause its free to express what i want,
what i feel, may give enlightenment,
i guess. im not good at it either.
im just happy doing it to symbols.
its early morning now huh,
waiting for the sun to rise
for about 2 hours more.
its been a night of silence,
i enjoyed it. no chats, no calls.
my usual life that i missed sometimes.
that's why i love darkness, the silence.
guess spending life alone will now be easy
when that time comes..
hope fingers are still intact
and mind is still working.
eyes could still decode the symbols.
and still have a wall to write into.
i'll be happy to live into it.