watching from keeps

another week to ran through
with smoke to breathe on,
an alcohol to dance me to sleep
leaving all my health thoughts.
boredom grin and perfect sighs,
ending up the crying lunacy
within these imperfect flesh.
thankful i still got my bed
completing my action-packed idle days.
having a glance outside my borders
saw new series to bookmark on.
those energy-draining moments,
energized with new words to decode,
new whispers to feed my heart.
mind and heart processing together
formulating theories, and analysis.
answering questions on "how to be with the author".
as i am walking through my darkness
distant from my fort and walls,
sadness lures my being thus
offered strength to face ancient wars.
touched my past, untangling disputes
sadly, failures recoils in its own ways.
let that past find its own self,
i just want to plea for a lasting peace
again, a trance wherein past afraid of and flees.
i want a change, past's change for my angels.
for them when this flesh will elevate its spirit
from this wicked ash turning cell.
i want a life, a new one.
a voice tapped me, "why don't you choose someone."
"away, start your new life with that one."
hmmmn... building a new fort and walls.
i love it, if i'll be doing it for and with you.