one day for a lifetime

................

words are not faithful
tend to break and fool
lies are so thoughtful
always reminds my soul

aren't you ashamed?
are you that naive?
aren't you loved?
or you're just stupid?

................

life that begun @ september

lets close our eyes
held each others hands
levitate our souls
leave our carnal walls
mellow dances and warm cuddles
on our innermost emotions
with reality's promised sweetness
your lap, my head wanted to rest
hand on heart, groping words it beats
on my head, pulsating my thoughts
believing on "trust me" words
i do, proving it with your actions
with the love your heart pours
and care your hand's caresses
with you, to close til open my eyes
sweetest smiles painted on this face
and heart cuddling yours
where everything is timeless
touching your hair, your face
lovely nose and petite lips
always love your presence
with your silly reactions
every time we're caught in tensions
aligning our unparalleled thoughts
with your smiles that slays
and jokes this mind says
your pretty love and cares
gives me warmth and resting place
where every being of my darkness cease

mimpi indah

darkness brooch the room
each pulse on same rhythm
hushing hearts in silence
touches took sanity's absence
took my sight with those eyes
and sweetest smile that slays
meeting beyond ruling boundaries
joy in every thin chances
to love and give other's caress
choking the fast dripping time to pass
to dwell the greatest among emotions
swirl around, dance along its trails
holding tight on each others hands
and breathe and fill the voidness
sparked the dream among the dreams

moment of silence

sleep to death
to cease my hate
to change the fate
a life to keep

i wept

should i sleep?
must have i shunned?
rush of being betrayed,
gnashing of tortured hope,
emotionally whored,
amplified hatred,
soul wished be burned
consuming cries screamed,
wept words from cursed
aphrodite of all undeserved.
crumbled realm succumbed,
a fake joy's aftermath.
from deception was consoled
fidelity godly played
hallucinated faith,
false fate on sight
unacceptable promises dazed
a fallen being , condemned.
a vile spirited droid.
captivated and crippled

darkness' cry

gasping air to breathe
falling on endless pit
tangled emotions cried
to subdue some guilt
all twisted regrets freed
dashing downward beneath
fair heaven's twilight
beamed upon, grappled
to each strand of hope
struggling for a lift

entitled... hush

nothing to prove whose fault
nor why did it went through that
never ending discussion and agreement
wrapping up the day on the last tick
emotions run dry purging the thought
of those imbalanced disagreement
and incumbent immense conflict
cutting the life vein on this hand
soothing the ascending misery of faith
groping for remaining blood to drip
as these dried leaves pricks these aged feet
is breathing still worth a seat?
to live and believe desolation to deplete?
conquered a third of life, still damned
seemingly all of the purpose had left
whistling winds emboss life into a rigid rock
as tuned haunting dreams are blown like dried sand
decorated all the past neatly on this lifeless track

as rain cried tonight

one lonely night over the skies
covered by tickled uncertainties
sprinkling your scent with cold breeze
swaying every emotions this heart could seize
thinking of silence breaking to appease
have i not given the love and kiss
nor the care and presence even miles away of seas
doped with fear and hungered you much more like feast
unfaithful am i? or just playful to please?
closing my eyes, for now til sorrow depletes.

in a perfect dream

starring at her portrait as
a lovely star amongst
on vast screen of heavenly bodies
and plain black sky where she lies.
meeting beyond boundaries
attaching each heart into solace
from evolution divided by religions
the pain kept the humid tear flows
wall that projected thoughts
on an amid astral activities
right hand on her left touches
my left to her right and my nose to hers
smiling and reading from the eyes
of what's being scribed inside each hearts
decoding the each encrypted actions
finely stored and locked from any harms
hoping this glass wall in between be into pieces
shattered, coined us freedom for a masterpiece
a new generation's edge from lifetime blindness
awaken, all hopes packed into one wholeness
running with heartbeats consoled from smiles
on your portrait, a dream, a love to be in tears

union

i'll wait for that moment
wherein heaven and earth meet
for the land be glittered
with stars have been longed
and moon kiss on this cheek
someday darkness would ripple the light
to touch heaven's faith
this land so long waited
in this realm fancy creatures lived
brought tears and pains left unsaid
heaven and earth will meet
and their love will shine to correct
the journey will come to its end
heaven and earth will be remembered
as a wind, unseen yet felt
a story to dwell more than a myth
a love for eternity from death.





'm standin' in the rain
i'm cold and i'm afraid
if i can't find you
then you'll never know
leave a candle at my door
and an empty space beside my bed
like a motion picture
this love will never end

i hang up at 4am
just when i drive ahead

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

twinkle of the stars
the pictures live forever on the dashboard
my guts are knots
my bones are rot
am i here alone?
i'm takin out the breaks that you give
see that i wont stop
until you have gotten through to me

you hang up
on the run
could it be that you're comin' home?

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

i can't sing what i write
i can't sleep until i've made this drive alone
who answer your door?
tell me please, how this story's gonna end
or begin

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

lies on hope

break!!!!! (arrrggghh!!!)
something's wrong with those words
empty soul now again floats
to null being of ciphered thoughts
eyes wide open, on state of madness
tears ain't falling as it flows
occupying my sight near to blindness
least giving hallucinations
those words which laughs and taunts
with furious eyes showing abjections
blunting murmurs that echoes
bouncing to me those blames
you too did on purpose
(arrrggghh!!!)
this sickness
....madness
all i can do is to be on silence




Oh no,
Here it is again.
I need to know
When I will fall in decay.

Something wrong,
With every plan of my life
I didn't really realize that you've been here.

Dolefully Desired
Destiny a lie.

Set me free,
Your heaven's a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

Oh no,
Here it is again.
I need to know,
When did I choose to betray you?

Something wrong
With all the plans in my life
I didn't realize you've been here.

Dolefully desired
Destiny a lie.

Set me free
Your heaven's a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

Set me free your heavens a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

losing

its not how we made it
or not how we did it
its how we are going through it
or how we both accept it
past is dead, though its still there
please close your eyes
and feel it, and breathe with it
take it again, love it again
hold on it, trust on it again
lets steal time and build those missing moments
tap ourselves to move for a cause
both corrupted each wholeness
broken, soaked with lifelessness and grief
emotions are too much
for these earthly flesh
tired from chasing and hiding
its now time to rest
and live a life.
will we be?





Please...
Don't tell me any more,
There's a weight in your eyes
And it weighs on my heart.
Where have the children gone?
We were innocent once,


But that was so long ago...

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes,
I know, I know...

Don't tell me of better days.
There's a memory I have,
Could be something I read.
Of laughter and cheap guitars.


In a house full of friends,
Could've been one of ours.
We stayed up late and loved the stars.
Can't remember the rest,
Just a few parts.

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes.
I know, I know.....



I think we lost something that we miss.
I wanna find that book,
Dust it off and read it again.
There was hope in the end...

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes.
I know,

We were braver still!
When we were young...
And when we were young,
We spoke in tongues.

gods

damn pointing each other's fingers
non stop yelling crippling these ears
fightings, brawlings, looped hatred
when will all these miseries end?
how much more screams each will be soaked?
how long will it take before each will stop
blaming and hurting each emotions?
before each will cry and sob to one another?
and plead for each one's forgiveness
to embrace what's left for them
and live with the changes
with those thoughts that was done
- mutilated, disgusted, hoaxed
if only an ice cream could chill each
could paint those longed smiles
ease those heartaches and pains
could keep the good memories alive
bring back and accept the new life
when will arguments will cease itself
or better chain itself to death?
and let each live as one in peace.
its not a matter of winning
or lossing or who made it through.
silence and enough selfless love
just shut up, and things will go easy.






Can't make my own decisions or make any with precision
Well, maybe you should tie me up so I don't go where you don't want me
You say that I've been changing, that I'm not just simply aging
Yeah, how could that be logical?
Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat

Wo-o-o-ho-oh

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror

If God's the game that you're playing
Well, we must get more acquainted
Because it has to be so lonely... to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion, but it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you

Wo-o-o-ho-oh

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror

This is the last second chance
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm on both sides of the fence
(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret... I'll hold you to it

I know you don't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror

I know you won't believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger... I'll point you to the mirror

reversal echoes

life is not perfect cause we cant redo things to live it perfectly.
thus, it is perfect cause we do things authentically.

that's life.
missing the past, loving the past.
but we live in present time.
and we will live on future.

i want life.
and i need life.
we love or not, life would be called life
if we make it real and not tend to make it real.
for reality is different from dreaming of things to come true.

setting the possible equation for the theory
(love x how "we" do it) = reality = life
then in our case i would say,
"i'd rather stay doing nothing than doing something for nothing".



the scientist
by coldplay

Come up to meet ya,
tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you,
tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets,
and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start

Running in circles,
comin' up in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science,
science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

And tell me you love me,
come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles,
chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Ooooohhhhhhh [x4]



quoted comment of the song from the web:
"...it means someone falling in love and trying to ignore it and not making sense of how theyre feeling because hes trying to think of love in a logical way, when you really cant. and in the process hes losing that person." by qtbrit412 posted 04-16-2006

Kuantan to KL-Genting Quest

after a toxic friday, we waited until 2am saturday trip to KL..
no sleep.. :D
everyone is excited, especially our muse/little sister :'D
then @KL had our spicy breakfast at KL Central.
aw...
the only available bus going to Genting left 15 minutes before jetty and macky arrived..
then we met manong taxi driver, though overloaded we drove the highlands
at our own risk. :D

then the fun and boredom begun..








bioman??

red: elias
green: me
blue: jetty
white: macel
purple: macky (pink sana ano? :P)







funky moments while
waitin for the cable car




promise...
SHE IS SO CUTE.. SO PRETTY...
the lil lady on blue shirt.:P





just entered the indoor amusement area..
munchin...





caged-in!!!
mcel,jetz, and macky's first ride
wherein jetty screamed out all his soul
wahahahaha





excited ano?
ely squared are next!!!
pro too bad they stopped the ride for security inspection.
haist..




its already late afternoon
when we have our turn to ride it :(
but the ride is worth waiting for..
whenever it makes a fast curve,
your soul splits out from your body
that explains why jetty screamed so hard that moment..
wehehehehe




tsk.. this is more fun sana...
:( but it is not available that time.. :(



the longest line :))
took us 2hrs to have our turn deymn!
and my cart is so slow hahahaha
im too heavy to drive that stupid cart wahaha
its fun though.. ;)





after a boat ride on top of the highlands, had our walk around the man made hills.



dito ako nahilo wahahaha!!! :D:D:D




funny moments inside the cave while waiting, again, for our turn to ride water raft. we got lots middle eastern beauties here. and they are laughing while we are having some funny acts..
(wink) (wink) (wink) if only its okay to have a pic of them.. (wink) (wink) (wink)
:P



talking to MANEH!!!
asan ka na MANEH!!!
:)) saglit lang kasi kami sa KL.
hope next time mailibre mo na ko..
extend my regards to hubby and tropa..
;)
(as if mababasa nia tong msg ko.. hahahaha)

promise pagod n pagod n ako this time..
i just put my focus on the phone pra marecharge ako
sa mga panlalait at patawa ni si maneh.
hahahaha.






Titiwangsa Station at midnight.
we thought we could still catch the last bus for Kuantan.
epic fail... :P
and jetty is so kind to share us his shelter..
shirt, shorts, bathroom..
blanket.. bed..
yiheee...
thanks ading ko...

init tlga ng ulo mo that night ano?
if only asa pilipinas tayo,
pwede nting tagain ang leeg ng anaps na yun..
wehehehe
chill up...

wel, sum it up we had our fun for the weekends
August 1-2, 2010
a 24 hr endurance and stability test..
we passed the test.. what's next? (shouting loudly)
hmmmmnnn
:D:D:D:D

yummy shabu

しゃぶしゃぶ
shabu-shabu
thinking of steam boat nothing more than that




but the truth is..
we are waiting for the monorail train goin to titiwangsa station.
time to go home now.
our 24hr Kuantan to KL-Genting Quest is over...
time to rest... hello pillow, i miss you bed :D

lunch scenario before ramadhan

a usual scene of our lives here in IIUM-Kuantan
laf laf laf laf


sarap ng panghimagas :D
that's after a heavy lunch :D

pasar ramadhan

11 August 2010


on shorts and lumad shirt
starving...
craving to eat but we need to wait for the prayer to be finished
drinks with lychee syrup and got lots of fruit bits inside.. yumyumyum :D


nice shade for the eyes..
so relaxing with the grass around the football field and cool evening breeze.

state of mind

hatred wished to join silence
silence embraced hate for comfort
fell on bottomless space
no one can subdue their pace
till the end, hate rules
hate will never depart, will live
not in vile but in peace.

~ prettier way to say...
"leave me alone.."
:'D:'D:'D

ascii 58 + ascii 68

(macel,ebby,rokia,mimi,rahma)


(ely x 2)

the casts









bridging my fear






breathing as one for a moment









laughing and having fun together for the whole time

on this 25th of July year 2010.
i'm thanking you guys for redefining fun and life.
the thought of smiling with my pearls, thanks mimi.
:D:D:D im not used to it.. :))
hope to have more days of fun
with all of you guys..