why?

when times i am on the clouds

comes those ghosts of the past.

when i feel i am settled

comes those sudden change.

when i think i am doing right

comes those whispers of doubt.

when i see i am better now

comes the idea i am lesser than i know.

when i am on course for a life lasting love

comes those petty handfuls of hate.

"am i less better than being better?"

cast away

what is it to be like or how would it be?

to place yourself in an island.
to lock yourself in darkness
to leave the once sanity you have
to embrace darkness and solidarity
to be void and be lower than any animal
to dream death and be dead

where is the old mozart?

bursting blood within this heart
splattered against the wall
agony and despair echoes in silence
covered with the betrayal
humming along the corridors
of life and cold stillness
clown's laugh painting happiness
as an overture art to impress
and have life not be bothersome
stroking the brush and to form a masterpiece
using water as a paint under shady sun
adapting beliefs without a clear point
now the strokes are different
and doubting myself with good mistakes
and honest regrets.
and never again to trust a cross.

the dark creation

mingling on the heights of heavens
one unique dark spot on the midst
of light and shinning angels.
not minding the troubles on the eyes
of the conservative guardians.

i, the dark creation,
damned and forsaken.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
to have circles to roam on,
speak without the fear of being damned.

though my soul is wrapped with sadness,
happy i am for passing and crossing your paths.
i may not be that good for the group standards,
but will redirect those who are seeking happiness.
and give spirit to those who are breathless.

i, the dark creation,
unworthy to be part of circulation.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
to look upon equally on everyone.
seek understanding on every minds.

faith would always be on doubt on your eyes
keeping calm with your unfavorable sights.
worry not, i'll just be a passer-by who soon leaves.
whatever the goodness taught, and affections
will always dwell on my soul, and is part of my standards.

i, the dark creation,
a flesh and weak with temptations.
all wanted is a universal freedom,
with no walls of  discrimination.
will always remember how to be a human.

2hrs

time is like an infinite stance
on a journey energizing each
one of us to pursue our paths,
binding us to new realms
we can only pass on it once,
filling us with wisdom and ideals
and responsibility for the young ones.

time is an enduring education
for each mind open for experimentation
on life, career, and emotion
enabling us to understand most situation
to grow and share our intuition

time is an inevitable challenge
on everything we decide to change
or every moment we want to retain

time is the one who will define our lives
who will define our beings
and will define us from life.

.♥.

"Ngayon ikaw ay nagbalik
At tulad ko rin ang iyong pananabik
Makita ang dating kanlungan
Tahanan ng ating tula at pangarap
Ngayon ay naglaho na
Saan hahanapin pa?"




sa bawat yapak ng bukas,
anino'y kayakap ng iyong bakas.
duyan nang iyong kahulugan
ang buhay na aking kulungan.
sa bawat sulyap sa kanluran
kasabay mga bulong ng ating kahapon.
mga namuong pangarap'y dumadampi
sa bawat luhang nananaghoy sa ngiti'y nakakubli.
tumitigil ang lahat ng katwiran
sa t'wing alaala'y sasaglit at ako'y hahagkan
at sa bawat hinaharap na hininga'y
kalungkuta't aninong tumatangis yayakapi't siyang aagapay.

:'(

the candle

with the immense silent darkness
one courageous candle rippled its flares
lighting up the vacuumed space
showing how wonderful it is
to be seen on light's shades
how interesting it is
to be known with light's flames

with the totally knitted shadows
the candle stood up and glows
casting hues on the infinite walls
incarnated glistening smiles
reminding and teaching the basics
of life, of love, of the realities
and dwindling life and soul's hopelessness

dosage is gone

with the illness and pain
medication drips and be in vain
addicted and crippling the sane
now numb and uneasy membrane

the power of every drop
with every electric zap
embezzled life's gap
to fill and heal the crack

everything's meaningless
whirling sorrows and griefs
hallucinating for joy and laughters
to have a so-called life upbeats

used to nurse the soul
and gave bath to feverish whole
with tenderness and passion's shawl
lovely feeling sought till i fall

angel's punishment

war.. destruction...
tear.. damnation..
hate..

dilemma of loving

sweetness with every gaze
chuckling smiles between hearts
like artistic paintings
smoothly swayed by brush.
beyond any explanations
crossing over all reasons.
caress that each one awaits
whispers on same trajectories
precise, on time, and sways.
joy on each other's presence
untangled thoughts unleash
no worries, united in all breakdowns.
laterally breathe with hopes
with sound and still faiths.
tears that deter souls' absence,
poured on each pockets for acceptance,
and seal the bond for each heart's.
dream above life's facts
shiver on every breathe taking moments
glide on every worst scenarios
crazy to put every steps on odds
worth the tears of all hearts
naive with all pains it will cause



.♥.



bitter from all of the thoughts
as tears run down the cheeks
where those smile used to rest
skewed and distorted strokes
of fresh and lonely tints
logical from all the actions
unable reason out those beliefs
and every single heart's cries
alone, wandering in the darkness
striving to survive on ample care from foreign smiles
missing trust, undirected and lost
tears bundled with pains regrets
believed im owned, slapped with all the frauds
contained the soul as locked shackles
chilling on amid sorrows and griefs
while falling down to the pit of ghost memories
withdrawing care and confining all pains
as a drifter walking on life's complexities
picking up all your left behind tears
embroidering it as shawl for the cold nights
mumbling the love we used care down to our sleeps.

i smiled

:')

the company
laughters
tears
the excitement
thrill
fun
the family
friends
work
the runaways
church
cafeteria
brox coffee

:')

her hug
kisses
smiles
touch
care
her love



remembering all these words
regenerating the scenes
recalling the firsts
first talk
first hold of hands
first date
first dinner
first lunch
first breakfast
first cuddle
first kiss
the first time i felt love
in my life
:')



take care always.

the CHM

coding a help file for the system
happy, a guide is being drawn
for the prototype's overview
with a fraud smile, its done.

how bout making CHM for life?
a compilation of texts
and without images.
facts that made the being
2011, 3 decades of living,
had enough words to draw a book
enough ideas to be painted

how bout a blog?
1 blog with entries of facts and fucks
;))


"life is a joyride, enjoy it.."
(wink)

who am i?

im...



:')

part of the journey
count some more years,
walk some more,
darkness will be silenced.
who cares?
no one, nobody really.
"they come and go.."
and that's reality.
you're good as "passer by"

:')

.♥.

there's no point of being depressed,
with or without, life must go on.
i am strong...
i am..
i will.

-0 ^_^ 0- a year round music for 2011

Days swiftly come and go
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions, they stir
The sun is gone
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall

Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone new

(Swing) Swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way to carry on again?

(Wish) cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old
They bend, they fold
And so do I to a new love

Did you think that I would cry
On the phone?
Do you know what it feels like
Being alone?
I'll find someone new

(Swing) Swing, swing
From the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way to carry on again?

Bury me
You thought your problems were gone
Carry me
Away, away, away

(Swing) Swing, swing
From the tangles of (swing, swing, swing)
My heart (my heart) is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way to carry on again?

sad thoughts

hate is indescribable feeling
a thought that swallows the being
whether fallen or have risen
nothing matters, unwilling to listen
blinded and tricked with sound maiden
lifeless now and has no meaning
hope desired and love dreaming
nothing, all crumbled and beaten
all sad thoughts will be living
as a curse on life never have been
will hate and will always hating

one day for a lifetime

................

words are not faithful
tend to break and fool
lies are so thoughtful
always reminds my soul

aren't you ashamed?
are you that naive?
aren't you loved?
or you're just stupid?

................

entitled... hush

nothing to prove whose fault
nor why did it went through that
never ending discussion and agreement
wrapping up the day on the last tick
emotions run dry purging the thought
of those imbalanced disagreement
and incumbent immense conflict
cutting the life vein on this hand
soothing the ascending misery of faith
groping for remaining blood to drip
as these dried leaves pricks these aged feet
is breathing still worth a seat?
to live and believe desolation to deplete?
conquered a third of life, still damned
seemingly all of the purpose had left
whistling winds emboss life into a rigid rock
as tuned haunting dreams are blown like dried sand
decorated all the past neatly on this lifeless track

in a perfect dream

starring at her portrait as
a lovely star amongst
on vast screen of heavenly bodies
and plain black sky where she lies.
meeting beyond boundaries
attaching each heart into solace
from evolution divided by religions
the pain kept the humid tear flows
wall that projected thoughts
on an amid astral activities
right hand on her left touches
my left to her right and my nose to hers
smiling and reading from the eyes
of what's being scribed inside each hearts
decoding the each encrypted actions
finely stored and locked from any harms
hoping this glass wall in between be into pieces
shattered, coined us freedom for a masterpiece
a new generation's edge from lifetime blindness
awaken, all hopes packed into one wholeness
running with heartbeats consoled from smiles
on your portrait, a dream, a love to be in tears

union

i'll wait for that moment
wherein heaven and earth meet
for the land be glittered
with stars have been longed
and moon kiss on this cheek
someday darkness would ripple the light
to touch heaven's faith
this land so long waited
in this realm fancy creatures lived
brought tears and pains left unsaid
heaven and earth will meet
and their love will shine to correct
the journey will come to its end
heaven and earth will be remembered
as a wind, unseen yet felt
a story to dwell more than a myth
a love for eternity from death.





'm standin' in the rain
i'm cold and i'm afraid
if i can't find you
then you'll never know
leave a candle at my door
and an empty space beside my bed
like a motion picture
this love will never end

i hang up at 4am
just when i drive ahead

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

twinkle of the stars
the pictures live forever on the dashboard
my guts are knots
my bones are rot
am i here alone?
i'm takin out the breaks that you give
see that i wont stop
until you have gotten through to me

you hang up
on the run
could it be that you're comin' home?

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

i can't sing what i write
i can't sleep until i've made this drive alone
who answer your door?
tell me please, how this story's gonna end
or begin

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now
i won't let you down
when we come back to life