closing the board

decades has been enough

my emotions joining these words

the doors must now close

locked and be in chains

and be written as the last

farewell my aesthetic darkness. 

why?

when times i am on the clouds

comes those ghosts of the past.

when i feel i am settled

comes those sudden change.

when i think i am doing right

comes those whispers of doubt.

when i see i am better now

comes the idea i am lesser than i know.

when i am on course for a life lasting love

comes those petty handfuls of hate.

"am i less better than being better?"

late

it was then that temper has risen
and moment has blinded you to listen
i know it was not right to keep you waiting
but with this test i can do nothing
your stares together with your silence
coldness that i couldn't bear within
sat at the corner, til i ran out of patience
i didn't mean to, and thinking i mustn't have been
i'm sorry, really sorry, next time no more waitin
thank you for listening, and the little book you've given
helped us alot and drove us away from colliding
mem-umur? the freaking stare? things that made us laughing
few hours that made us a day, completely as i am wishing

the candle

with the immense silent darkness
one courageous candle rippled its flares
lighting up the vacuumed space
showing how wonderful it is
to be seen on light's shades
how interesting it is
to be known with light's flames

with the totally knitted shadows
the candle stood up and glows
casting hues on the infinite walls
incarnated glistening smiles
reminding and teaching the basics
of life, of love, of the realities
and dwindling life and soul's hopelessness

cookie monster

sweet as a butter cookie
living life happily
with thoughts of being silly
paints smiles to his honey
uneven moods others would see
filling the day with talks so lovely
dreamed remaining life to be happy
funny in ways he don't seemed to be
just to complete the day of his honey
teasing and laughing from the jealousy
play with temper's mood nicely
and sway the emotions soothly
a warm cuddle moving their hearts closely
with sparkling eyes blushes the scenery
resting their hands together warmly
and paint a slow paced chuckle to end the day.

why do i love you

you're walking with me
even in the most risky journey
you talk to me
even when everyone shuns me
you want to be with me
even complex life runs through me
you rest on me
all the time, specially when you're lonely
you cuddle me
even though i'm sleeping and empty
you share the air you breathe with me
if times death is coming upon me
you give me light
even in my darkness where i flee
you want to touch me
whenever i'm happy or lonely
you love spending time with me
even though you're always busy
you cry for me
when my tears cannot flow freely
you work hard for the best
in order for you to please me
you believe me
even though everyone lost their faith on me
you paint smiles on me
whenever i'm tired and so snappy
you always miss me
even you're always with me
you love me
despite of my flaws and being crazy


"i will always love you",
whispers and murmurs on my darkness.
i may be away for all of the days,
my heart and soul are always with you.
longing to be together and serve my love
to be the sole heir and lover of my heart
for a lifelong love you worth
till our souls will depart above.

i love you.
i love you so much.



:')''' 14-feb-2011 happy heart's day....

dilemma of loving

sweetness with every gaze
chuckling smiles between hearts
like artistic paintings
smoothly swayed by brush.
beyond any explanations
crossing over all reasons.
caress that each one awaits
whispers on same trajectories
precise, on time, and sways.
joy on each other's presence
untangled thoughts unleash
no worries, united in all breakdowns.
laterally breathe with hopes
with sound and still faiths.
tears that deter souls' absence,
poured on each pockets for acceptance,
and seal the bond for each heart's.
dream above life's facts
shiver on every breathe taking moments
glide on every worst scenarios
crazy to put every steps on odds
worth the tears of all hearts
naive with all pains it will cause



.♥.



bitter from all of the thoughts
as tears run down the cheeks
where those smile used to rest
skewed and distorted strokes
of fresh and lonely tints
logical from all the actions
unable reason out those beliefs
and every single heart's cries
alone, wandering in the darkness
striving to survive on ample care from foreign smiles
missing trust, undirected and lost
tears bundled with pains regrets
believed im owned, slapped with all the frauds
contained the soul as locked shackles
chilling on amid sorrows and griefs
while falling down to the pit of ghost memories
withdrawing care and confining all pains
as a drifter walking on life's complexities
picking up all your left behind tears
embroidering it as shawl for the cold nights
mumbling the love we used care down to our sleeps.

who am i?

im...



:')

part of the journey
count some more years,
walk some more,
darkness will be silenced.
who cares?
no one, nobody really.
"they come and go.."
and that's reality.
you're good as "passer by"

:')

penguin

silly
funny
cute
cuddly
where a heart longs to rest
stays when your away

did you know that when a penguin found his mate, he will stay with her forever?

.♥.


would you be my penguin?

:">









"My Paper Heart"

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Tears fall, down your face
The taste, is something new
Something that
I know moving on is,
Easiest when I am around you.

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer

So bottle up old love,
And throw it out to sea,
Watch it away as you cry
A year has passed
The seasons go

Please just don't play with me
My paper heart will bleed
This wait for destiny won't do
Be with me please I beseech you
Simple things, that make you run away
Catch you if I can

Summer time, the nights are so long
The leaves fall down,
and so do I into the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me

Summer time, the nights they are so long
The leaves fall down,
and so do I into the arms of a friend
Winter nights
My bedside is cold, for I am gone
And spring blossoms you to me

in a perfect dream

starring at her portrait as
a lovely star amongst
on vast screen of heavenly bodies
and plain black sky where she lies.
meeting beyond boundaries
attaching each heart into solace
from evolution divided by religions
the pain kept the humid tear flows
wall that projected thoughts
on an amid astral activities
right hand on her left touches
my left to her right and my nose to hers
smiling and reading from the eyes
of what's being scribed inside each hearts
decoding the each encrypted actions
finely stored and locked from any harms
hoping this glass wall in between be into pieces
shattered, coined us freedom for a masterpiece
a new generation's edge from lifetime blindness
awaken, all hopes packed into one wholeness
running with heartbeats consoled from smiles
on your portrait, a dream, a love to be in tears

union

i'll wait for that moment
wherein heaven and earth meet
for the land be glittered
with stars have been longed
and moon kiss on this cheek
someday darkness would ripple the light
to touch heaven's faith
this land so long waited
in this realm fancy creatures lived
brought tears and pains left unsaid
heaven and earth will meet
and their love will shine to correct
the journey will come to its end
heaven and earth will be remembered
as a wind, unseen yet felt
a story to dwell more than a myth
a love for eternity from death.





'm standin' in the rain
i'm cold and i'm afraid
if i can't find you
then you'll never know
leave a candle at my door
and an empty space beside my bed
like a motion picture
this love will never end

i hang up at 4am
just when i drive ahead

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

twinkle of the stars
the pictures live forever on the dashboard
my guts are knots
my bones are rot
am i here alone?
i'm takin out the breaks that you give
see that i wont stop
until you have gotten through to me

you hang up
on the run
could it be that you're comin' home?

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

i can't sing what i write
i can't sleep until i've made this drive alone
who answer your door?
tell me please, how this story's gonna end
or begin

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now (baby don't close your eyes)
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

tonight we're alive for the very first time
tonight we're arrive because there's no where to hide
don't give up on me now
i won't let you down
when we come back to life

lies on hope

break!!!!! (arrrggghh!!!)
something's wrong with those words
empty soul now again floats
to null being of ciphered thoughts
eyes wide open, on state of madness
tears ain't falling as it flows
occupying my sight near to blindness
least giving hallucinations
those words which laughs and taunts
with furious eyes showing abjections
blunting murmurs that echoes
bouncing to me those blames
you too did on purpose
(arrrggghh!!!)
this sickness
....madness
all i can do is to be on silence




Oh no,
Here it is again.
I need to know
When I will fall in decay.

Something wrong,
With every plan of my life
I didn't really realize that you've been here.

Dolefully Desired
Destiny a lie.

Set me free,
Your heaven's a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

Oh no,
Here it is again.
I need to know,
When did I choose to betray you?

Something wrong
With all the plans in my life
I didn't realize you've been here.

Dolefully desired
Destiny a lie.

Set me free
Your heaven's a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

Set me free your heavens a lie.
Set me free with your love
Set me free.

losing

its not how we made it
or not how we did it
its how we are going through it
or how we both accept it
past is dead, though its still there
please close your eyes
and feel it, and breathe with it
take it again, love it again
hold on it, trust on it again
lets steal time and build those missing moments
tap ourselves to move for a cause
both corrupted each wholeness
broken, soaked with lifelessness and grief
emotions are too much
for these earthly flesh
tired from chasing and hiding
its now time to rest
and live a life.
will we be?





Please...
Don't tell me any more,
There's a weight in your eyes
And it weighs on my heart.
Where have the children gone?
We were innocent once,


But that was so long ago...

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes,
I know, I know...

Don't tell me of better days.
There's a memory I have,
Could be something I read.
Of laughter and cheap guitars.


In a house full of friends,
Could've been one of ours.
We stayed up late and loved the stars.
Can't remember the rest,
Just a few parts.

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes.
I know, I know.....



I think we lost something that we miss.
I wanna find that book,
Dust it off and read it again.
There was hope in the end...

Have we lost our way back home?
We have made mistakes.
I know,

We were braver still!
When we were young...
And when we were young,
We spoke in tongues.

reversal echoes

life is not perfect cause we cant redo things to live it perfectly.
thus, it is perfect cause we do things authentically.

that's life.
missing the past, loving the past.
but we live in present time.
and we will live on future.

i want life.
and i need life.
we love or not, life would be called life
if we make it real and not tend to make it real.
for reality is different from dreaming of things to come true.

setting the possible equation for the theory
(love x how "we" do it) = reality = life
then in our case i would say,
"i'd rather stay doing nothing than doing something for nothing".



the scientist
by coldplay

Come up to meet ya,
tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you,
tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets,
and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start

Running in circles,
comin' up in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science,
science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

And tell me you love me,
come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles,
chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Ooooohhhhhhh [x4]



quoted comment of the song from the web:
"...it means someone falling in love and trying to ignore it and not making sense of how theyre feeling because hes trying to think of love in a logical way, when you really cant. and in the process hes losing that person." by qtbrit412 posted 04-16-2006